“Motherhood is mental freeze.” So sang Kim Deal of the Breeders in their 1993 track “No Aloha”. I had just received my Ph.D. in philosophy that year, I was 27, and that sounded about right. I saw all the exhausted woman who were feeding, disciplining, and ferrying around their crying, whining, snotty broods and thought: what a bunch of suckers. I will never do that. I will have a career and develop my mind, and write important words and speak important speeches, and when I die, I will be remembered not for changing diapers and driving to hockey, but for the wonderful contribution I made to mankind.

I am 46 now. I have 4 small children ages 12 and under. My baby boy has stopped pooping in diapers, but he will soon join his two older brothers in playing hockey. I’m trying to figure out what lessons to impart to my daughter, now that I’ve abandoned my tough career-chick attitude. I’m trying to figure out what lessons to impart to myself, now that I’ve abandoned my tough career-chick attitude. [Read more…]